on a random note.

You say how you detest people who hop to new friends once they find someone more interesting. Oh, it's that true? Perhaps they want to do so because you youself is not even a friend worth keeping. Especially for someone who declares their once-friends as 'cheap sluts'. Maybe your life is spelt B-O-R-I-N-G and being with a wall is so much MORE interesting than being with you. Well, at least the wall is better to look at, oh gawd!

Yes, it speaks volume about you when you talk bad about someone who just have other friends to entertain. Don't judge their charactor when your's so fhilty and disgusting to begin with. WHO ARE YOU to say about them? You talk about friendship like you understand it, like you know what's it all about. Please man/woman (I can't differentiate which gender are you, I'm sorry), is there anything wrong for someone to hang out with their other friends? And as a friend, you should be happy that he/she is happy. Not being so SELFISH and backstab them behind their backs. From what I've heard, this is not the 1st time you're doing so. So what makes you think YOU are a good friend? Reflect on that, before you start pointing fingers at others.

So who's the cheap slut now?

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. They see past your imperfections and love you as you are. They are willing to share your joys and sorrows and stand by you for all the decisions you make. Even if they have lost conatcts, true friends know that anytime of the day, whenever you need it, they are there for you, all the way. That's what a friend should be. But you!! You're someone who can't even share a friend, let alone their joys and sorrows. Maybe they don't cheirsh friendships. But neither do you, you bigot.

You're just an insecure, lonely bugger and you should deserve my pity. But no you don't.

Don't you dare say anything bad about my friends again. Say me if you want, I don't give a shit. But you touch anyone I love, and you'll get double of what you dish out. Don't play words with me, cuz trust me, I'm so much better.

If you're so good at designing, why not design yourself a heart. And oh, and if you have time, design yourself a presentable face too please.

gonna go crash now.
im missing the 26b people already.

im tired. no more of such nonsense.
fark u asshole.

found the urgent need to change blogskin.
guess heng just re-waken my conscience.

new year was a blast, went around visiting.
the last day of visiting was at nick's house.
went to have dinner, instead of the provided KFC,
we decided to have steamboat.
rushed to the nearest supermarts and get everything
and went back to prepare.
FUN and ate in his cosy abode .
managed to finish most of the things.
din expect the things to be so yummylicious.
haha.
have pics but lazy to post. don really have much mood for the extravagance now.

on a separate note though;
is it that hard to repay that pittance amount of 80 bucks,
owe jaz for like god knows how many months.
and now when demand it back, say return already den i use my own money.
but wtf la. nothing. bloody ass hole liar.
ITS MY MONEY LEH. den i have to pay for the chalet expenses and other expenses i have.
u have problem den others none? bloody hell u.
hum ji or wat, don dare to pick up ur phone.
don let me see u. kao pei.

well, let it all out and i'm already feeling better.
so excited for the chalet!
hope things would turn out fun and nice.
and thanks to FARHAN AND AQILAH AND BOH for putting in so much effort for us.
anyway. people, its 12 noon at pasir ris mrt on monday!
please dont be late, especially BOH YEH YING AND CRYSTAL
=)
dennis, thanks for trying to make me feel better. although failed.

and to heng and nick, will learn to treasure u more.
i know have been neglecting and taking you guys for granted.
really thankful for everything you have done for me.
THANK YOU.

my dilemma of course changing have already had some progress.
im beginning to know what i want.

so many farking problems. so little time and energy.

the distant unfamiliarity.
the labeled family does no longer give me that sense of warmth.
people are distanced, cold, unfeeling.
it was just yesterday that we sat in a circle playing five stones, laughing and yelling our lungs out.
guess that just reflected my generation and my uber laughing power, trained from young.
and today, those past anecdotes we used to share, fun and laughter, no longer exist.
perhaps that once-a-year-meet-up-only mindset was there and there was no need to build up such close ties with one another.
yet, it was almost heartwarming to see everyone,even some that i din know was related to me.
but all that matters, they give me ANG PAO! =)
im not greedy, thats the only motivation for me to move out into the hot and crowded areas in a nice suit and im sure it works the same for us.

************************************************************************************

ever wondered if you are so isolated despite being surrounded by dozens and billions of people around?
ever felt completely out of the picture despite being in the group of your closest friends?
i felt that way and for sure, it completely sucks.
isolation is the sub conscious mind of the human when it is in a state of uneasiness, thats my definition, not sure how u other folks define it.
i'm feeling some of it now. ( i know this particular group reads my blog, so here it goes)
STOP TELLING ME HOW CLOSE WE ARE OR WHAT SO EVER.
AND NOT COMPLETELY DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT
WITH GREATER RELATIONSHIPS COME STRONGER COMMITMENTS.
AND I SEE THAT YOU HAVE NOTHING OF THAT.

i noticed a trend or should i say a phenomenon.
if you are close with group A. group B and C tends to distant.
and distant meaning, no contact, not even a word of 'how are you'
you would realize that you are the giving party which is absolutely tedious in any form of relationship.
im so tired. sorry that i can no longer keep it up with you guys.
i'm strongly bringing it across to four other close friends.
you know who u are.
im trying, you should too.

to a certain random:
you are such an asshole.
whore, bitch, any insulting vocabulary,
im hurling all at once to you.
you don think you are some big shot.
in short, a darn failure.
i curse u never to succeed

***********************************************************************************
and phone rang, was expecting some new year greetings but;
A: hello is this mr tan?
me: guess you got the wrong number.
A: (in the most apologetic and sorry-for-killing-your-family-voice) so sorry, really sorry, omg, so sorry.
me: its alright.
the kind human nature in me. =)

***********************************************************************************

feeling so excited yet so distraught over the upcoming chalet!
and woohoo! its going to be a blast i guess.
and beatrice, stop being scared, haha, you are overly pessimistic. know what, we would enjoy.
no ghost will flock in. maybe a few canaries. other than that, nothing. =)
distraught; it would not be a full attendance kind of thing. hope all u folks who read this would change their minds and attend the bbq at least, some last pictures, small talks, gambling, CS before we finish our honeymoon period. gosh, sounds so emo. but i guess the saddest would be at the chalet. and no one! pls no one, brings up that topic. donwanna make a whole sham at the chalet.
***********************************************************************************

okay, shall go watch some you tube and choose my outfit for tomorrow.

need to meet up with LOTS OF PEOPLE.
sorry, shall arrange soon. busy busy.
=)

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR PEOPLE! and collect more ANGPAOS! =)

hello.
gee,2 more hours to the new year.
wow. guess the only enthusiasm is to be nicely dressed in the best possible outfit.
dress to impress. thats my moto. =)

been doing a lot of thinking .
holidays aint here for nothing you know.
the topic about kinship and friendship came into my mind
and my conclusion was;
guess blood's a little thicker than water and all the other intangible claimed relationship.

then again the term Friendship isn't always easily described.
The Eskimos, they say, have a hundred different words for snow.
Unfortunately, the English language isn't quite as innovative, though it has vast opportunities to differentiate meaning.
Certainly, Love is one of those opportunities. And so, too, is Friendship.

Instead of different words, however, we're stuck with simple adjectives.
Close friend. Best friend. Childhood friend. Intimate friend. Trusted friend. Beloved friend.
BUT whether you use adjectives or different words, few could deny the nearly infinite meaning in such a simple word.

Friends are special people.
We can't pick our family, and we're sorely limited in the number of them at any rate.
Society and mores (and often our own conscience) dictate we select a single mate
But our friends can be as diverse and infinite as the adjectives we choose.
Our friends, in a very real sense, reflect the choices we make in life.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
heres my all time favourite song that i would like to share with everyone;

SAY GOODBYE: S CLUB
In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared

In the years to come
Are you gonna think it over
And how we lived each day with no regrets

Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Cos true love never dies

In a year from now
Maybe there'll be things we'll wish we'd never said

In a year from now
Maybe we'll see each other
Standing on the same street corner though it rains

Each and every end is always written in the stars
If only I could stop the world
I'd make this last

Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts in your heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye (so say goodbye)
But don't you cry
Cos true love never dies

And when you need my arms to run into
I'll come for you
Nothing will ever change the way I feel

Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts in your heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every day
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Because a true love never dies

the lonely and distraught feeling is back
you made me feel like the im the only survivor
living in my own isolated world.
well, thanks to you, i got my best motivation to get into other courses and excel.

went to apply DAE today.
chances seemed pretty good.
am pretty certain that i would be able to get into something.
seriously, we should look at the course, not the school.
i concentrated on 3 polys:
in no particular preference:
NYP; Media Studies and Management ( got darn lots of forms to fill up )
Hospitality and Tourism Management, Business Management and Marketing,
** having gotten into business management last year, im sure its not going to be tough.

NP; Psychology and Community Services, Business Studies, Banking and Finance.

TP; Law and Management; cant remember the rest already.

pretty confident that i would get something this year and one thing for sure is that, i would not be manipulated again. my course is what i would truly desire which is to be Media Savvy.

MDA here i come.

enough of those;
was feeling rather up beat recently,
conflicts, unhappiness.
all coming together at one go.
im just putting up a false front.
hoping all these passes.
im so not ready for more of this.

well well, 16 weeks zoomed past.
this semester was another collaboration of the wackiest and insane people.
was really touched by some of the comments the faci gave.
it was the last pushing force that would make me strive further in RP.

the last day was filled with the usual combination of rushing ppt and mega CS.
CS was a total kick! i was mega DC in the game la. losing my top frag so MANY TIMES.
anyway, janine brought us to CAFE GALILEE to have third meeting.
and she bought us drinks and cheese wedges, believe me, it was simply OMG. YUMMYLICIOUS!
den after the presenting, we were sharing some scrap teeth and some mini awards ceremony.
and i got away with two prizes! haha full attendance for enterprise and most vain award, which was absolutely not true if i was standing next to beatrice and yy.
janine got us lolipops and little cards with notes, was so nice and sweet la. we were all smitten and blown over.
and aqilah was moved to tears.
soon, it was the mega cam whores, i think during the chalet, which is on the 26-28, would have much more! so exciting. but not so exciting after what I and beatrice SCARED EACH OTHER on the way back. LMAO

here goes some of the comments i received this week:
I've had a blast facilitating you! Will miss the little chats and the silly banter. And thanks for the kind and encouraging words. They really mean a lot to me. Take care and all the best for Year 2 and your future endeavours. See you around campus!
Janine Boon, Enterprise

You have been a wonderful student and I enjoyed your presence in class all the time. With your eloquence, intelligence and humour, I am sure you will be a prominent personality in RP. I hope to see you do well in RP and look forward to being able to work with you on RP's projects in the next two years.
Gan Koh, Culture

the rest of the comments are simply, normal words of praise.
all the good luck and all the best for your future endeavours eg
to any other ordinary being, this is not just simple words of praise.
but forces of motivation that drives you forward.
decided that i might afterall stay in RP, since i am still so active in school and activities
this week might be the holidays but for sure, mine have not started.
im having the IBN Open House tmr, with Doctor and Beatrice, hope it is not going to be boringgg.
and on wed, having my interview for the President Post. (sounds seh right.)
thurs, out with grass.
and friday saturday sunday toking to heng and finding out hows her trip been and everything.

would be busy and of course collecting my ang paos.
and would be going around to KOP it.


was wondering how to do a photo collage of the 26B people but apparently, my photo shop skills aint up to standard. so shall try it another time.

a short message to the W26B people, it was nice, really nice knowing you nice souls and i genuinely think that if given a choice, i would still choose this class, so rock ! i would treasure all the moments we had, playing monopoly, having those sexually suggestive videos, hentai sessions. and the list goes on...
to my really closer beings in this class;
yehying, ben, beatrice, dennis, crystal, farhan, syarifah, aqilah, no no no, actually all of you are close! shall seriously miss you guys truckloads! =( we still have the chalet! SEE YOU SOON!

alright, not its getting emo as all the thoughts/flashbacks are going through my mind, be it, falling off chairs, making a fool out of certain randoms in class, balding, fats, anything, everything. but its time to say good byee..


im ending off here, u guys shall always be in the deepest pit of my heart...

i bet its still surreal for most of you.
im more than almost pleased.
all of you did so well!
the results is just the first step,
whats the most crucial is the decision.
your course, school. everything, it is the determining factor for you future.

chrissie, i cant tell you how happy am i for you.
indeed the ah go go has made it,
all three of us, be it jc/poly. make a wise choice alright?
we will support and give you advice in every single way we could.

min/elaa/clair/RUBY/ong and the many others.
told you all that you could do it. =) make the best of your results.

and our dear gwen here, make it as well. cum'on now, lets all applaud her. =)

and to those who din do well; here's one thing i wanna say.
when one door closes, another opens, definitely you can make a good cause for your time.
there would be some place

shan't be naggy and mention anything about courses anymore.
in case, i'm labeled again. so, well. no more about the O levels.

back to my own story; the appeal to the other courses in RP failed.
cause its too late/no more vacancy, guess im just so fated to stay in SAS.
been applying DAE to lots of polys, shall be waiting for their results.

shit, im severely virus stricken. something is very wrong.
and there's this very idiotic pop ups and jammms since i accepted this file.
darn darn darn.
opening all the anti virus programs to save it now.
nothing is worse than getting this lappy down, cause, that means i would need kelvin's help.

sorry and was really busy. no time to upload all the pics
shall upload sooon. real soon.

okay, this post got absolutely nothing interesting
and you all felt u waste your time. so. off u go.

W26B. the chalet is on. 26th to 28th Feb, crystal's scandal got a place for us at the cheap rate.

the only thing i can say is thanks to my communications faci PAT!
she has done simply too much for me.
since semester one, be it student emcee nominations, broadcast journalist,
to now, helping me to speak up to the director of STA to aid me in my feat to get into STA.
extremely grateful. kudos to Patricia =x

been really stressed up recently.
indeed to each its own. and i know im one fickle minded wreck.
nothing i say/do could deny that, its a renowned fact.
and jaz, i already made my mind. thanks last night.
i knew u almost burst into desperation/helplessness with my insane indecisiveness.

was trying to do up a very random photoshop collage
but apparently, the fact that im not any IT savvy person disabled me from doing that.

certainly. i think my temperamental improved, i use to flare over the slightest,
but now, even the bullDUNKS i get from those assholes in class.
im fine with it =)

and guess wat, i got an A for my science UT .
i was, overwhelmed haha.
but whatever, it does not mean that my science was good, it was pretty bio-ed so it was easier.

anyway, 9th feb is the confirmed date.
to the people im sincerely concerned about, my brother, tiney, lai, min, clair and the many others. im praying hard. and friday i cant go back! so sorry! gotta attend school, i missed that module too many times. =)

all the best kiddos.
and to myself. =x

competition.
like it or not.
the cruelty of that existence.
failure/defeat is just temporary but if you admit and accept. its permanent.
a teaching that joey tan has taught us 4e3 people
and its the spirit that lived in me.
back to competition, witness the birth of the 2nd project superstar.
not saying that the show is lame or what.
its a labyrinth of sourcing out potentials such as myself.
and well, i believe that the craftiness and the sheer uglyness of reality.
which is the fight for fame/votes.
doesnt it turn the simplest/innocent human nature vicious?
but then again, isn't it the fight for fame/labels?
who isnt after it? who would wanna be that ordinary girl/guy next door?
would you do all it takes be it underhand or above to get ur aim?

i got a new song that i just wanna share but, unfortunately, its in Chinese.
its called I Believe. by Shi Xin Huey. If im not wrong.
i heard the song the first time from a project superstar finalist.
its uber freaking nice. and i believe his name is Nathaniel Tan, i left his link underneath
for people with identity crisis/ identification problems.
if anyone could find that song, kindly send me =)
more precised information could be obtain from this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FmSBe4_ax8

and as i was into the writing mood.
my ns boy kenneth lim finally came back with some news.
to all the panic/petrified/nail biting potential NS to be.
its good news. he claims its all eat/sleep.
his only constraint is on waking up early, which i believe its a long lost habit since he left GYSS.
shall see you on friday.
take care. god bless that son of a bitch.

okay, i believe i have enough blogging for one day and i shall work on my collage tmr.
and to my fellow RP-ians, good luck for maths UT tmr.
gy juniors , its 9 FEB.
the other besties: goodnight.

its 5.41 am and i just cant get to sleep.
must be the aspirin.
shall reply the tags here. cos, its too messy there and too much.
haven been in this dinghy place for a long time.

to:
kimmie: your hols are starting already? so fast. i still got a week more of school left =) organise one 4E3 outing okay? its been like 334598457023 years since i last saw any one of your existence.

beatrice: haha, no la. just want to write it down as i just passed another milestone of my life and you know, haha i'm applying to other polys. =) we may/may not meet again..

joanne: HELLO!!!! FREAKKINGG LONG SINCE I TALKED TO YOU.REMEMBER THE TEETH JOKE? hahahaaa... and how have you been? ur new class fun?

jaz: alright, im sure i will make the right choice this time . and might be going into the same course as tiney. doonn get jealous, better take care for your exams, u sure sure can do it one, =)

aqilah: you are formidable can! the most powerful gurl! can make me slap myself haha. thats strong enough! =)

BOH aka YY: yeap, and even when we go year two or when i switch courses, i shant forget a friend like you. and of course we could walk around school and when i hear a very familiar yet horrendous laughter, i know u are laughing at the MRS UMBRELLA already.

kelvin: super funny kelvin. super. this fella comes to my blog and tags with a assortment of identities, such as some call girl, ximei. and who knows what.

i thought its already 8am
but, its only 5.50, no choice, could only blame myself for such excellent typing skills.
thats what RP makes you.
other than tucky of course, he was unfortunate. very unfortunate case.
i being nasty but it was seriously funny.

and before the end of the school term,
im going to make a collage.
of all the disgusting pictures i took of the people in my class.
i expect cognitive to be a good day for pics
you people are in for a shock! =)

suddenly realised my life is not as fascinating as i thought it would be

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welcome to MY BLOG:D
Site: http://confused-delirium.blogspot.com


Since: 010306
Purpose: Whatever

RULES
screw those stupid rules

WEIHOW
darryl's my other name
16 April 1989
catholic high school
guangyang secondary school
serangoon junior college
republic polytechnic
email


WANTS
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& new converse sneakers
& guess buckle belt
& new adidas jacket(:
& vintage tops

(:

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