@ 10:48 PM
the distant unfamiliarity.the labeled family does no longer give me that sense of warmth.
people are distanced, cold, unfeeling.
it was just yesterday that we sat in a circle playing five stones, laughing and yelling our lungs out.
guess that just reflected my generation and my uber laughing power, trained from young.
and today, those past anecdotes we used to share, fun and laughter, no longer exist.
perhaps that once-a-year-meet-up-only mindset was there and there was no need to build up such close ties with one another.
yet, it was almost heartwarming to see everyone,even some that i din know was related to me.
but all that matters, they give me ANG PAO! =)
im not greedy, thats the only motivation for me to move out into the hot and crowded areas in a nice suit and im sure it works the same for us.
************************************************************************************
ever wondered if you are so isolated despite being surrounded by dozens and billions of people around?
ever felt completely out of the picture despite being in the group of your closest friends?
i felt that way and for sure, it completely sucks.
isolation is the sub conscious mind of the human when it is in a state of uneasiness, thats my definition, not sure how u other folks define it.
i'm feeling some of it now. ( i know this particular group reads my blog, so here it goes)
STOP TELLING ME HOW CLOSE WE ARE OR WHAT SO EVER.
AND NOT COMPLETELY DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT
WITH GREATER RELATIONSHIPS COME STRONGER COMMITMENTS.
AND I SEE THAT YOU HAVE NOTHING OF THAT.
i noticed a trend or should i say a phenomenon.
if you are close with group A. group B and C tends to distant.
and distant meaning, no contact, not even a word of 'how are you'
you would realize that you are the giving party which is absolutely tedious in any form of relationship.
im so tired. sorry that i can no longer keep it up with you guys.
i'm strongly bringing it across to four other close friends.
you know who u are.
im trying, you should too.
to a certain random:
you are such an asshole.
whore, bitch, any insulting vocabulary,
im hurling all at once to you.
you don think you are some big shot.
in short, a darn failure.
i curse u never to succeed
***********************************************************************************
and phone rang, was expecting some new year greetings but;
A: hello is this mr tan?
me: guess you got the wrong number.
A: (in the most apologetic and sorry-for-killing-your-family-voice) so sorry, really sorry, omg, so sorry.
me: its alright.
the kind human nature in me. =)
***********************************************************************************
feeling so excited yet so distraught over the upcoming chalet!
and woohoo! its going to be a blast i guess.
and beatrice, stop being scared, haha, you are overly pessimistic. know what, we would enjoy.
no ghost will flock in. maybe a few canaries. other than that, nothing. =)
distraught; it would not be a full attendance kind of thing. hope all u folks who read this would change their minds and attend the bbq at least, some last pictures, small talks, gambling, CS before we finish our honeymoon period. gosh, sounds so emo. but i guess the saddest would be at the chalet. and no one! pls no one, brings up that topic. donwanna make a whole sham at the chalet.
***********************************************************************************
okay, shall go watch some you tube and choose my outfit for tomorrow.
need to meet up with LOTS OF PEOPLE.
sorry, shall arrange soon. busy busy.
=)
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR PEOPLE! and collect more ANGPAOS! =)